Exceptional People – Like you and me

This month has been another busy one for me.  As I promised, I’ve kept learning and moving forward.

I’ve read three more amazing books:

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy which is about the difference taking a small action each day has.  If you read nothing else in this book, read the $3,000000 vs $1 bit – it blew me away.

Secrets of Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker  so many “aha” moments in here and lots of practical advice and actions you can do to improve your money blueprint.

Low Cost High Life by Mark Homer this is book filled with an interesting story of success, contrarianism (which I love) and success.

So this month, I took Cam on a weekend property training course and it really opened his eyes to other ways to make money.  He’s starting to come round to the idea that I may have instilled a slightly one sided view on him.  In May I’m taking him to a two day money course, to help re-programme us both.

I’ve attended an amazing three day training event which has resulted in a lot of knowledge on E commerce, but perhaps more importantly, I’m in a What’s app friend group where we check in on each other and motivate the group to keep going.

I’ve found a commercial property for a national developer and am just waiting on feedback as it was my first.  If it’s a no, I’ll learn a lot that I can put into practice on my next attempt and if it’s go, I’ll get a nice finders fee. Win:win.

I’ve learned that I need to focus on one thing, a little bit each day but this left me at a bit of a loose end whilst I wait for things to happen so I’ve revisited this to focus on one of my three projects each day.

I’ve also been learning about marketing and social media so Sort My Shit Out Blog is now on Twitter @sort_shit and Instagram @sortmyshitoutblog as well as Facebook and I’m attempting to be much better at posting.  I’ve decided to go for inspirational quotes, I know they are everywhere but I’ve found people like them and they have a bizarre habit of being relevant at that time.  So hopefully you’ll find them useful, amusing and/inspiring.  I’ve tried to keep them close to what I do and add some context.  If you have any snippets of advice, do send them in, I’ll of course credit you :).

The biggest thing I’ve learned this month is about how “normal” exceptional people are.  I’ve had the pleasure and opportunity to meet so many people this month, whom I would class as inspirational, and they are, but the thing that strikes me the most, is how like me they are, how normal and down to earth and keen to help and share their success and learning.

It’s made me realise that I can be successful too, the only difference between myself and them is that they took sustained action.  I have, for want of a better word “pedestalised” many people, and had an aspiration to be like them, but I am like them, I just need to learn from them and take action.

Twice this month I’ve gone out for a meal with two sets of amazing people, and felt right at home, not out of my league and not at all awkward.

We all can be exceptional, we just need to get going and take action!

 

 

It’s been a while! This has been my struggle.

Something amazing has happened to me recently! Truly amazing!

I have been presented with a clear path to success – it’s so obviously the right path – and I’m still stood looking at it and feeling like another path is the one I should take.

How bonkers it that???!!!

Mark and I have just been for dinner and I finally admitted my self doubt. Despite having all the tools I need to take this path to success, I am struggling to walk along it. The last few months have been almost unbelievable for me, my life is going to change massively and as much as I’m a sceptic regarding “the universe” and concepts such as “cosmic ordering”, I simply cannot deny the opportunities and momentum that is occurring in my life since I wrote down what I want. I realised I hadn’t told Mark any of this, and how it all linked, he convinced me I needed to write about this and share my “stuckness” in the face of the glaringly obvious path to choose.

Here is the story:

You’ll know from my previous blog posts that I read The 4-Hour Work Week: Escape the 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New Rich in December and this had a massive impact on me. I decided to put something into practice:

  • I set goals
  • I learned to view work differently
  • I decided to learn and learn and learn

So I carried on this momentum and purchased a book called “Money: Know More, Make More, Give More by Rob Moore, whom I’d never heard of at this point but am now a total fan!. I felt sick as I read it, but for a great reason. I’d always been really proud of the values regarding money that I’d managed to instil in my son, Cam, mostly based on some major errors and hard earned learning myself. I realised reading this book, that I had set him on a fairly risky and thankless journey.

I wrote more goals based on the advice given in this book and worked on identifying my values. This has evolved over the couple of months and I now understand that I value security above all else. It’s vital to know what drives you but it can be quite hard to figure out.

I decided to follow the advice in both books and reach out to the people at the top. So I dropped Rob Moore a line, not expecting to hear anything back, but it pushed me out of my comfort zone and that was what I was aiming for. And you know what? I did hear back from Rob! Life has been pretty different since!

Reaching out like this led me to a massive new community and I was invited to attend some training. Which I did, and this has opened even more doors, physically and mentally and I have literally been soaking up all the learning I can as a result. I’ve been engaging in threads on Facebook and really getting a taste for path of success. I’ve already met lots of amazing and inspiring people and this has lead me to other learning and opportunities for Cam and I which I’m so excited about!

This opened me up to learning even more, and I’m hungry to know everything I can. But bizarrely, in my head, I’m stood at a crossroads looking down two different paths. The path on my right (in my head) is the path to success, I’m 110% sure of this, yet on my left, I feel a tug towards the path I know well.

This situation has practically paralysed me this last week. But I did recognise this in myself and instead of just stopping, as I previously would have, I kept soaking up the learning based on good advice, and this has gotten me to the point that I can verbally articulate my internal struggle to Mark. Mark pointed out the glaringly obvious to me (which I was unaware of):

  • I’m a qualified and experienced NLP practitioner – I understand people
  • I’m a qualified and experienced coach and I get great results when I do coach people
  • I’m real – I have a really rubbish filter and my thoughts just fall out (apparently this is good)
  • I just want to help people feel better about themselves and for themselves
  • my internal struggles are things other people will feel too
  • everyone gets stuck
  • most people give up at this point and stick to what they know
  • I have all the knowledge and tools I need and just need to take action

Bizarrely this resonated very loudly as yesterday I’d listened to a Progressive Property Podcast which talked about strengths and challenges and overcoming them.

So after a very frank discussion with mostly Mark talking (those of you who know us will know how unusual that is), I promised to take action.

  • I walked through the door and contacted a young entrepreneur who I’d been talking to about social media and told him to “go, go, go” with developing the reach for my blog page.
  • I typed this blog post and have set a goal to keep going, I’ve had great feedback so far and now I just need to be brave and let people I don’t know read my work.
  • I’m going to share this blog to a wider audience – eek
  • Tomorrow I am going to be setting up my property investment website
  • I am also going to package my first deal and present it to a friend who is an investor and get really valuable feedback from him at the very least, and who knows, maybe even a deal that will benefit us both
  • I’m going to stand up at two networking events this month and introduce myself, build my network and relationships for my business
  • I’m going to go on a course in two weeks time and ensure that I am taking actions based on my new learning straight away
  • I’m going to teach Cam what I learn, and drag him along to the courses I go on where I can, to teach him the right way to do things

I’m sharing this on my blog to keep me accountable – make sure you check up on me by sending me a message – I need a good shove down the path of success!

I thought I was stuck, I just needed to say it to the right person to know I need to constantly work on sorting my shit out. I felt a bit ashamed of my stuckness because even to me, the choice is obvious.

The mind is powerful, and part of being successful is not suppressing these thoughts, but acknowledging them and finding the right way to balance them.

Most people fear failure, my fear is of success, which sounds crazy, especially when you are so sure of how to achieve success. This recent journey has made me realise that I value security above anything else and although there is little risk in taking this path and much to gain, it’s different to what I know and that makes me insecure and therefore affects my deepest value. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle isn’t it. And this is why it’s so important that I have become part of such a large and supportive community and shared this experience and learning with Mark.

I’m choosing the path to success! As of now! And I’m going to struggle a bit with this. But being surrounded by people, virtually and in real life who can reassure me is so important. I’ve realised that I’ve often been given the tools to be successful in the past but I have never followed through with consistent action. Well that changes now!

If you’d like to get inspired head to these websites:

http://www.robmoore.com

http://www.unlimited-success.co.uk

http://www.progressiveproperty.co.uk

Exercise changed my mind!

I’ve always done some sort of exercise, but never really taken anything particularly seriously.  I struggled with finding motivation and commitment and then would feel bad as I watched the pounds pile on.  This created a negative cycle in my mind and had an impact on my body too.

A few years ago, I was chatting with my brother in law and he was telling me about this new gym he’d found.  Their family live several miles away so I had a look to see if there was anything similar near me.  There was, and there was a free trial session so I duly went along to Crossfit Southampton in Eastleigh.

O….M…..G!!!!!!! When I got there, I was very scared.  It was a massive, noisy warehouse, no machines, just a load of ropes, metal climbing frames, a few big balls and barbells dropping all around.  I nearly turned and walked out but I was greeted by a cheerful lady around my own age who I later found out was one of the owners.  So I stayed, I did the workout, which was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and from that point on, was totally hooked.

I signed up for the membership the very next day and virtually lived there for two years, going almost everyday.

I was literally the worst at everything, except skipping and sit ups, but something about it kept me going back.  I worked enormously hard, inspired by the women around me who were the strongest I have ever seen.  Everyone cheers you on and even being last is an achievement, by the fact you didn’t give up.  People in Crossfit gyms really respect effort!  And, so began my obsession.

I remember my first deadlifting attempt.  I managed a very small weight, under half my body weight.  Two years later I lifted 1.5 times my bodyweight.  I went from barely being able to hold on to a pull up bar for five seconds, to being able to do two strict pull ups.

I met an amazing group of friends there and my amazing other half.

After two years, my obsession turned into curiosity about the mechanics of our bodies and the beauty of form, and I started to realise that lifting heavy wasn’t my goal anymore, movement was, so Mark and I made what felt like a heart wrenching decision, we switched entirely to Calisthenics – more on that in another post.

This journey with sport, has had much more of an impact on me than simply dropping dress sizes.  It has informed the way we eat, the approach we take to sleep and improved my overall mental health.

Crossfit taught me lessons – it humbled me every day, yet I got up to do it all over again the next day.  Because simply getting through one of those workouts is a physical and mental achievement.  The buzz that gives you is amazing.

It introduced me to so many people, when you suffer together you bond.  I remember rolling around on the floor fighting the urge to give up, next to one of my now closest friends and yelling at her to keep moving!

It taught me that I have strengths, and others have different ones.  I was often humbled by people complimenting my squat or my sit up prowess, or my ability to double under skip, all of these people were people whom I saw as “elite” but realised they, like me, have weaknesses too.

It gave me the realisation that I can endure practically anything!  Sometimes the fight to finish was not with my body but with my head.  There is a short workout called Fran, it consists of two movements, barbell thrusters and pull ups, this, like all workouts are scaled to your ability, it takes around 5 minutes to complete, but every single person hates it.  You just want it to stop right from the first round.  To be fair, most workouts did this to me.  But again, that feeling afterwards is such a reward.

It gave me confidence, which I was severely lacking, and days when my self esteem was low, I’d go and lift some heavy weights and that somehow made me strong in my head again.

It inspired me to learn more, to challenge myself, to push harder, to achieve more and frankly made me feel quite invinsible at a time in my life when I was sliding down.

Callisthenics provides this for me now, handstands are my current main project.  A few years ago,  I would have given up after a while, Crossfit taught me to never stop trying, and slowly, my handstand is improving.

I am stronger now, at forty, than I have ever been in my life.  My posture is better, which enhances my breathing which helps in everything.  I can endure a lot more mentally and push myself hard.

I still need motivating and to help with this, I always workout with Mark, and we have had a personal coach in both Crossfit previously and now Calisthenics.  I moan a lot but we laugh a lot, usually at me, but I’m good with that.  Crossfit also taught me to laugh at myself.  There are several memories I have of  our group going home with sore abs, not form the workout, but from laughing.

I progress slowly, but I progress. When I think back to when I first started Crossfit, or even when we made the switch to Calisthenics less than a year ago, the improvements are enormous.

It’s easy to forget how far we have come in any part of our lives, but I often get frustrated at my lack of progress.  In our whats app friend group, we often flip from being annoyed by our gym performance to reminding each other just how much improved we all are.  I’m not one for looking back on the past, but I know it is important to do this.  To remember how we have changed and celebrate this.

Time tends to blur all things, experiences, memories, feelings, but it is important to see back through the blur to the reality at the time.

Being committed to exercising, is being committed to yourself.  I see it as an investment in my future.  I want to be agile and pain free as I age, I want to be fit and able to move freely at 100 (lets face it, we all might live this long now).  But I want the peace and pride that it gives me in my head the most, the foundation to be healthy.